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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

When Reality Bites: How Denial Helps and What to Do When It Hurts by Holly Parker

When Reality Bites: How Denial Helps and What to Do When It HurtsWhen Reality Bites: How Denial Helps and What to Do When It Hurts 
by Holly Parker

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Fiction is not the only thing that I ever read, in fact I read quite a great deal of non-fiction. I enjoy books that give help and guidance. Now, that being said I might not be the best person to review this book, because at this moment in time I am dealing with a number of things after starting my life over after 21 years of marriage, but then again that might also just make me the best person to review this book.

Denial. Normally when you say the word denial, we think of the bad ways in which we use denial. The alcoholic who refuses or cant see that they are damaging themselves and/or those around them. The person who refuses to take ownership of their actions, and on and on. The thing is, denial is not always a bad thing, it just takes knowing when and how to use denial to your advantage.

Author Holly Parker has a very easy, conversational tone in this book, and it reads more like she is a friend talking to you over dinner, giving you the information from her vast knowledge to help you through things you are dealing with. She doesn't overwhelm you with her knowledge and training, or make you feel that you can't understand what she is saying. She keeps it in a light and easy manner that allows everyone, no matter your educational background, to be able to understand what she is saying and feel comfortable with it. That is probably one of my favorite things, she doesn't talk over your head, or dumb it down too much that you feel like she is making fun of you.

There are a number of exercises and questions that you can work through in this book to help you understand denial, when it is bad, when it is good, how to use it and how to avoid it. Because of all these exercises, this is a book that you can refer to over and over, when different things come up in your life. Of course, for me, it meant that it took me a lot longer than usual to read this book because I couldn't just skip them, I had to do the exercises and answer the questions. Of course, I still have pages marked in my book to work on again later, to go back and redo and to finish.

This is definitely a great book, and I am extremely pleased that I ran across it at this point in my life, because in reality, there are a number of things going on when you begin life over, being a single parent, and responsible for everything yourself that this book will help me address. I do see myself using this book now, and again later in time.

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